I was going to start this reflective, slightly narcissistic post about 2010 with a quote from Nietzsche:
That which does not kill us makes us stronger
My post was then going to be an angry rant about how, on balance, 2010 has been a terrible year – it has been a year dominated for the first six months by the hospitalisation and death of my dad, a year which has seen me in hospital (I’ll live) over Christmas and a year in which I feel as though I have been pushed to my mental and physical limits by events and, perhaps, by my own inexperienced way of dealing with and shaping these events. If there were a god, I’d be kicking him in the balls and screaming in his face. Powerless. Angry.
But then I think back to who was with me during those tough times, and I remember that it was pretty much everyone I care about. I remember the kind words of support that seemed to bounce off my numbed carapace of rage; the apparently bottomless kindness of people around me (including 2 different bosses) as I struggled through the first half of 2010. I remember the hug from a colleague on my return to work after Dad’s death. I remember my neighbour calling me from the motorway trying desperately to find my parents’ house when he heard the news. I remember how much my mum and I helped each other through the tough times. I remember Rebecca’s incredible support and strength, someone whom I have put though enough this year and who didn’t break, let alone bend. Not an inch.
So yes, I’m angry and I’m disappointed at how this year has panned out, but I’m grateful to the people around me. Through this year’s adversity, It’s become clear just how very lucky I am. It’s often been tempting to think that I can move through life completely self-sufficiently, but this year I learned that no man is an island and the people around me are gold.
And to lighten the mood, here’s a little something to cover any questions about New Year’s Resolutions:
Good luck in 2011!