Ciaran’s Omnipurpose Blog

I honestly thought they were Italians.

I was sitting (yes, sitting! I got lucky!) on the Tube on the way home last night, head buried in the Endymion Omnibus, when a load of rowdy blokes got onto the tube, adding to the already sardine-like quality of the rush-hour crowds. They started singing football songs, which had a south European lilt to them, hence my false assumption: they were Croatian.

Apparently, there was a big football match last night at Wembley. I live fairly near Wembley and I had no clue. This is because I don't follow football. It doesn't interest me in the slightest. In fact, on some level, I'm anti-football. I see people talk for hours about the ins and outs of their sports, applying incredible reasoning and statistical powers to the points-systems and league-tables. At the same time, the real world around them needs these people to apply this deep thought to the real world problems around them.

It's a taboo to talk about sex politics and religion in polite company, but it's OK to talk football. In the end, our public discourse is infantilised.

The Croatians started banging the ceiling of the carriage, singing "We love Croatia, we do!", and some brave Londoners tried to start a counter-chant of "So why don't you fuck off back there then!", but it was a flaccid attempt and the commuters weren't in the mood.

Still, the local pride was still there. After all, London had once been the capital city of an Empire that controlled a quarter of the world's population, and this faded jingoism is now relegated to playing itself out on the football pitch. Perhaps this is better than the fields of Flanders or Omdurman, but the pride's still there and one chap muttered to the other, "They'll be laughing on the other side of their faces after the match".

England lost 3-2 to Croatia. Croatia was all over them like a cheap suit, from what I saw whilst channel-hopping. England was beaten by a country with a population 13 times smaller with an economy 31 times smaller. The Croatians were laughing on the other side of their faces alright -they had to give the other side a rest.

I know this is a little late, but I've been on holiday:

It's all kicked off about yoga, that uncomfortable-looking way of sitting and lying around.

It started at the end of August, when a Church of England priest decided that the yoga class that had been using the church hall for some years should no longer be allowed to take place on church property.

The yoga teacher couldn't understand that permission had been withdrawn from two different churches in Somerset.

The more reserved of the two Somerset priests said, “If it was just a group of children singing nursery rhymes, there wouldn’t be a problem but she’s called it yoga and therefore there is a dividing line we’re not prepared to cross.”

So an exercise regime based on Hinduism is fine if you omit the Hinduism part? Fair enough – perhaps that's why some christians have recognised the popularity of Yoga and the indifference of many to the Hindu roots of the practice. So they've created a christian alternative to Yoga called "Praise Moves":

But whilst one of the priests was at least open to the idea of compromise, the other wasn't. How exciting!

“Any alternative philosophies or beliefs are offering a sham – and at St James’s Church we want people to have the real thing. Yoga has its roots in Hinduism, and attempts to use exercises and relaxation techniques to put a person into a calm frame of mind – in touch with some kind of impersonal spiritual reality.

“The philosophy of yoga cannot be separated from the practice of it, and any teacher of yoga, even to toddlers, must subscribe to the philosophy.

“Yoga may appear harmless or even beneficial, but it is encouraging people to think that there is a way to wholeness of body and mind through human techniques – whereas the only true way to wholeness is by faith in God through Jesus Christ.” 

My personal view is that since the Church of England is tax exempt, I'm theoretically paying higher taxes and therefore subsidising a "public service" that I cannot use. I live with this, because I don't claim dole money or a lot of other public services, but I don't expect to be denied access to their Services or related services. The Church's doors are open to unbelievers, but their schools are closed, as if to say, "We welcome you if you might potentially become a customer, but you can forget access to the schools you pay for". This is one of the many reasons why I think faith schools are a terrible idea. 

But I couldn't help my eruption of bemusement and amusement at the news that the Hindu Council UK is considering challenging the ban. Said Anil Bhanot:

"These priests might appear to be advising Christians not to practice yoga because they believe it is based on a 'sham' and a 'false philosophy', but what in effect they mean is that Hinduism is a false religion,"

Well, of course they do! They're not polytheists who believe in reincarnation: they're Christians!

So I think this bleating about being referred to as a false religion is pretty laughable and the Hindus claim the Christians are wrong and the Christians claim the Hindus are wrong. There's always a silver lining to every cloud. In this case, I can happily say that I agree with both of them!

You may know that Dinah always throws awesome parties. This year, her birthday party was held in Knutsford, Cheshire and held jointly with her friend Caz. The theme was "Under the Sea", so I was forced to unleash my inner pirate.

Photos of the event are all over Facebook, but will be posted on this blog shortly.

It's astonishing how a costume can make you enter your character. I was "Yarr'ing" and Shivering me timbers for all it was worth – barfing up bits of lung and vocal chord the next day. It reminds me of a story I read about actors in Lord of the Rings or a similar movie, who actually started to unconsciously segregate themselves according to whether they were Orcs or Elves. Very odd.

OK.

I've been very disparaging about an exhibition at the Tate Modern in a previous post, but I can't help marvelling at this crack. A small crack in one concrete slab has been expanded upon by an artist to stretch the entire length of the Tate's Turbine hall. It's impressive work.

What's nice as well is that although there have been injuries resulting from the crack, the management at the Tate hasn't caved into the Health and Safety brigade and fenced it off.

However, the artist couldn't help herself from emitting some unnecessary arty-guff about how the gap symbolises racial division: representing "the gap between white Europeans and the rest of the world's population". Does this mean that there's a huge gap between white Europeans and Americans? And Japanese? And Australians? Does this mean that there's a huge gap between white Europeans and non-white Europeans?

My advice: Either spend more time on the drivel-text or just forget about it in the first place.

You had me with the crack on its own; although why it cost £300,000 is beyond me.

It has been reported in the news today that a mother died hours after giving birth in Shropshire. The details are still unclear pending an enquiry, but it seems that she died because she needed a blood transfusion after complications during the birth of her twins.

The technology was available: it isn't wholly uncommon to have complications during birth that require transfusions.

The blood was available: the doctors were desperate to perform the procedure.

She refused the blood that would save her life.

She refused by ticking a box on a form and this choice appears to have been upheld by her husband and family during the medical emergency in the hospital, whilst she lay dying on the bed with her newborn infants.

She chose death over life, and was supported in this grim choice that left her children without a mother because she and her family are Jehovah's Witnesses and refuse blood transfusions.

It's sad to think that a lot of people say that having children gives their life new hope and meaning – this is something that she and her family have denied themselves because of what would seem to the outside, rational observer to be a tragic devotion to a dubious set of beliefs.

One's thoughts turn to the surviving father and the children. the children who will be without a mother, and the father who supported his wife's decision to die in the name of a new take on Christianity dating from the 1870s. If it were me, I would wonder if I were a suitable father after choosing death for my wife in a parallel to the story of Abraham and Isaac.

But I think that would be too hard on the man and his family: religion's about social control as well as belief, and people in groups will often enforce the hardest line possible. It must have been a terrible dilemma; and the intense pressures from the church leadership must have been unbearable.

After surrendering your mind to the authority of those "above", what room is there for compassion, for protecting yourself, protecting your family, for doing what's right and what's natural?