Ciaran’s Omnipurpose Blog

There’s a great moment in the movie, The Untouchables, where Eliot Ness, watching Al Capone on trial, decides that the mobster is just a little too comfortable for his liking. Ness wonders why Capone is joking with his lawyer and seemingly unconcerned that the case against him is water tight. You see the realisation creep over Ness’ face and he asks the judge to change the jury for one in the next court room: Capone had bribed the jury.

Paris Hilton went to prison on June 3rd 2007. She had been sentenced to 45 days in prison because:

• She had been arrested in September 2006 for drink-driving and had her driving license suspended, as well as being sentenced to 36 months probation and ordered to attend an alcohol awareness programme.
• In January 2007, she was pulled over for driving with a suspended license.
• In February, she was pulled over again. This time, she was driving with a suspended license, and was doing 70mph in a 30mph zone. She also didn’t have her headlights on. What a twit.
• On May 4th, in view of the above, she was sentenced to 45 days in jail. I think she had quite a few chances to avoid jail, really. Probably a lot more than the poor would get under the Three Strikes Law.
• Even before going into jail, she had her sentence reduced to 23 days for “good behaviour”. Double-eww-tee-eff? I thought “good behaviour” applied to inmates, not to those who violate probation.

So why did Paris Hilton seem unconcerned about the jail term that awaited her? She certainly talked a good game, saying, “I’m going to do the time and I am going to do it the right way.”, never mind the fact that she was going into a special prison for celebrities. One punishment for the common person – another for the loaded.

She also had that Capone-like quality of appearing at an MTV award bash hours before starting her sentence. I don’t know about you, but I’d be busy at home crapping myself at the thought of going to prison in a couple of hours. What did Paris have up her sleeve? Where’s Elliot Ness when you need him?

Well, we found out on June 7th. It seems that Paris didn’t want to do the time in the “right way” at all. In fact, she wanted to do the time at home by the swimming pool in the California sunshine. As with a lot of things, she got her way.
Clearly, the law was being an ass, and the judge who originally sent her down for 45 days ordered her dragged back into chokey to do the full time (and do it the right way, presumably).

She was very upset. I’d be upset if I were dragged into prison, which is one reason why I don’t break the law and hold it in the contempt that she appears to.

I think the only way to redress the balance is to rename her Bangkok Hilton and deal with her appropriately.