I’m Mr. Habibti. I like Berlin because I live here and it is my home. I like also the doner kebap. But what I like all the most is the wonderful Falafel.

Falafel is this little tiny ball of joy that you throw into boiling oil and watch it grow. It grows into a big meal for big person like you, no? Haha!

I used to make the best Falafel in town. Gorbachev used to eat my falafel also.
Berlin is a lovely town, but I have been everywhere. I like London Town.

I was in Madame Tussauds. I liked it. They had Saddam Hussein. It was great! He’s a really scary man, though.

I don’t make doner kebab because I cannot beat my competitors’ prices without mincing stray dogs and putting them in chilli sauce. I prefer to make falafel, but I am very sad because there are no customers here in my restaurant. It is under  bridge-railway and falafel is best eaten in quiet. It is the food of the gods! Haha!

I am now making my restaurant into a bio-pizza place of food. My friend Ciaran was very sad when I stopped making falafel. Maybe he will like my wholemeal flour pizza with organic cheese.

Bye-bye crazily Englishman! Haha!

(Migrated from old site – first written October 1997)