Ciaran’s Omnipurpose Blog

Children are delightful. I can’t help but smile when, on the way to work, I see kids playing in the playground. Sadly we’ve developed a paranoia about children. Victorian values taught that they should be seen and not heard, but now it seems they should not been heard or seen.

An indicative trend at the moment is the tendency of some picture editors to blur out the faces of children. It’s weird: it almost makes you feel criminal looking at the picture and isn’t even applied consistently according to any law, otherwise everyone would be doing it:

Sometimes real life proves that we won’t be influenced by people who want to peddle fear. This mother got chatting to a nice man on the tube. She had her son occupying one of the seats, which she gave up to another passenger. He wriggled on her lap, wanting to play tarzan on the handrail, so she let the man hold him as the boy climbed the post. They played together for about 20 minutes until the man had to get off for his stop. He didn’t steal the kid.

Some countries regard children as their parents’ first, but with society taking a hand in things second. Isn’t it healthier to think like that, rather than live in fear of being accused of being perverse for taking delight in the innocence and beauty of children and responsibility for our next generation?

It’s every cat owner’s nightmare: you get a lie-in because the moggy isn’t pawing at your face at 5am to be fed. In fact, you don’t see the cat for the whole day. Then two, then four. You start to fret. You worry that the worst has happened. Perhaps his death was mercifully quick? You decide not to give up hope and produce a series of posters and flyers with which to bombard the immediate neighbourhood. You try forget that your cat is basically a quadripedal ninja and can choose never to be seen if he wants. You go knocking on doors. You go for long walks with an empty cat carrier and a torch. You scour the web for advice on what to do when your cat goes missing. You tolerate smart alecs who tell you that you’re not doing enough because they found their dog after dropping 800 leaflets and never mind that dogs walk up to people whilst cats think it’s fun to hide from people.

You start to give up hope without giving up hope. Perhaps someone will find him and scan his chip? Why fight the inevitable: just wait for him to be found! Occasionally, your resolve breaks and you go back out for walks or try calling around vets. Then you give up again and feel bad for giving up. But it’s been 11 days, and with some of the hottest weather on record. How could he have survived?

Then one night, in the wee small hours, your cat comes home either like nonchalant teenager late home from a saturday night out or desperately happy to see you and all’s well again.

So my advice to you should your cat go walkabout for a few days, and assuming he’s microchipped, here’s what you should do: absolutely nothing.

See! They turn up when they want to!

I was wondering when I’d feel inspired to blog something. So here goes. Rebecca and I were out looking for our lost foster cat, Piper. We’d leafleted our neighbourhood and had a call from a neighbour who had spotted him in the fields nearby. Sadly we didn’t find him, although a very cute tortoiseshell followed us around as we shook a bag of kibbles to get his attention. Here’s a photo of Piper. What about those eyes, eh?

So we headed back to the house. On the way home, we stopped at Rebecca’s car, parked around the corner. Where we live, there are no residents bays or similar nonsense. It’s one of the nice things about the area; we never have to worry about finding our cars have been clamped after coming back from a holiday. The only downside is that you sometimes can’t park outside your own house, but this is a small price to pay.

Unfortunately, Rebecca has been unable to use her car for many weeks. This is because she broke her foot. It’s also been a bit or a turbulent time in our household, so we’ve been away from home a lot. We got into the car and Rebecca started it first time. Good sign! The windscreen was a bit dirty, so we spent a bit of time spraying and letting the wiper blades do their thing. Suddenly, there was a vigourous knocking on Rebecca’s window. We jumped a mile! A middle aged woman’s face was pressed against it. She was wearing a kaftan or something. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Here’s the conversation as I best remember it:

Woman: You’ve been parked outside my house for a long time. That’s not fair. Where do you live?
Rebecca: Just around the corner.
Woman: It’s not fair that you’ve parked here..
Rebecca: Well, it’s the street, so we can park here.
Woman: Well it’s really unfair that you parked here. I was about to call the police.
Rebecca: The reason the car has been here so long is because I broke my foot and couldn’t drive. I’m just trying to move the car now – I’m testing to see if my foot is strong enough.
Woman: Well it’s very unfair that you parked here. I was going to complain to the police!
Me: Did you not hear what she just said? She broke her foot and couldn’t drive!
Woman: Yes well, but I don’t see why you had to park there for so long. It’s very unfair on us!
Rebecca: I *broke* my *foot*! This is a public road! I don’t know why you’re having a go at me!
Woman: I’m not having a go, It’s just really unfair that you parked here.
Me: The lady just told you twice that she broke her foot. If it were me, I’d be too embarrased to complain about the parking, but clearly you’re not. End of conversation.

My Dad died peacefully at home recently after a long and heroic battle with cancer. His funeral was last Thursday (17th June). My mum and I were in awe at the turnout and the kindness shown to us by so many people from all over the world. I’ve decided to post some photos of Dad here, along with the tributes given to him at his funeral.

Eulogy

My father, the man you know as Austin, was born William Joseph Augustine Hanway  above a shop in Dublin to Larry and Elizabeth Hanway. He was the second of their two children. His sister, Joyce, is too unwell to travel and is represented by her daughter Susan, of whom Dad was very fond.

Dad excelled at school, spurred on by a love of literature, a great mathematical mind and an incredible memory. He also used to claim the profligate beatings his teachers meted out to their pupils was an inspiration of sorts. He completed his A-Level equivalents a full two years early and started work as a clerk for a major insurance company in Dublin. He made a great career for himself, eventually managing thewhole Guinness brewery account, a subject dear to his heart. But a love of literature stayed with him throughout his life: he was a voracious reader and most of us here will probably remember Dad joyfully quoting poetry that he had rote-learned at school or telling one of the thousands of jokes he’d picked up in the School of Life.

The Irish urge to travel soon kicked in, and Dad went to swinging 60s London to seek his fortune. It was there that he worked for Allied Underwriters before setting up his own business. It was in London that he met Tina, my mother, and they settled in North London, moving to Esher when I was born.

Dad lived in Esher the rest of his life, running his business in London and devoting any spare time to his friends and family. When his business went under in the early 1990s, Dad picked himself up, dusted himself off and got straight back into work, eventually rebuilding his business in East Molesey, using an old garden table as a desk. Dad was a man of incredible stamina and industriousness who believed that there’s no such thing as a free lunch unless he was buying you lunch.

I’m sure many here will relate to me when I say that the longest arguments I’ve had with him have been when I have insisted on picking up a lunch or bar tab: “Hold your arm”, he’d say, “This one’s on me: You never asked to be born”.

Dad was incredibly gentle and understanding. In the 34 years I’ve known him, I only once really saw him lose his temper. I’d bought a motorcycle against his wishes and crashed it badly. He opened the front door to me without a word. He didn’t speak to me for days.

Dad and I shared a lot. He was a confidant and advisor and a great source of strength for me. Putting to one side for a moment his clear disappointment that I wasn’t in the Irish National Rugby team, some of his enthusiasms did rub off on me; a love of film and useless information, of good food and drink and a revelry in language and banter. My interest in history started from evenings spent standing at his side as he sliced spuds into a frying pan whilst telling me stories about the Potato Famine.

Dad made friends easily. His greatest power was his speech and he was a sought-after public speaker. It’s a testament to his ability to connect with people of any walk of life that I see friends here from the City, from Molesey, from Ireland and Germany, and of all ages. He wouldn’t have wanted to put you out, but would have been delighted to see you all here today.

People often remarked that we more like buddies than father and son. He was more than just my Dad, he was my teacher and my dear pal.
Er war mein Vater. Mein Lehrer. My Freund.
Mo athair. Mo múinteoir. Mo chara.

-

Tribute From a Friend and Colleague: Taj

I first met Austin 25 years ago when I joined  Allied Insurance Brokers as a Junior Account Handler. Although he had left AIB he was at most of the functions organised by the company and always the centre of attention.

He was, even then, a legend, and my senior colleagues would recollect his time there with a wistful look, at those heady days of Broker / Insurer and client meetings that were held in the company’s second office – the Northumberland Arms, which I understand was run by another Irish gentleman (and I was never sure if the landlord had shares in the company but I understand that a lot of business was conducted there) .

Our chance meeting at Private Portfolio in Horsham some 14 years ago led to my arranging a reunion with my then previous Boss Mike Lewis and Austin. The two of them agreed to form a offshoot of TLD in the South. I only had pleasure of a hangover the following day.

Austin often joked that I was his stalker, as I subsequently followed him to rejoin TLD. We shared many interests outside work and I was fortunate to be able to have the benefit of his advice and counsel.

I am very honoured today to be able to express on behalf of all my colleagues at TL Dallas  and all those in the Insurance Industry who knew him or had dealings with him over the years  and for those that have been unable to get here today , our feelings for Austin.

We will remember and miss his humour and wit. I’m sure that you will remember a little story or two of your own, that he may have shared with you. As I wrote a few notes down for today, I started to recollect a few stories myself. I gave up after 20 odd sheets of A4; most  of which I dare not repeat, but my favourite was always the one of him trying to persuade Tina to learn  the Irish anthem and to recite this at the Irish Embassy as a pre-requisite to obtaining an Irish passport.

We will miss his optimism, his linguistic skills, his intelligence and use of his intellect (as a fellow Irishman we used to have long debates of all things unimportant). We will miss his professionalism  and his integrity. I don’t believe that his clients ever had to complain about his lack of service. He truly believed that the client came first.

We will miss his manners in Business and social life, his Inspiration and leadership  – not by any use of force,  but by gentle persuasion that truly brought out the best in those he met in his Private and Professional  life.

We will miss his wonderful and charming personality. He had a magic way about him that brought out the best in ourselves. with one major exception the headaches the following day.

But perhaps and very importantly his enduring friendship that made you feel that you were very special to him.

I will leave you with a quote ascribed to Anon,  which I believe epitomised Austin:

To be born a Gentleman is an accident
To die one is an accomplishment.

Austin was a Gentleman and a gentle man

He will be truly missed by us all.

-

Tribute From a Dear Friend: John

Tina and Ciarán have asked me to reflect on Austin’s Masonic life I have taken the liberty of extending my brief to include his friends from the Conservative Club, the Palazzo and the many other local businesses of which he was a welcome patron, friend and neighbour.

Austin was a big man in stature but within that large frame beat an even bigger heart. His natural warmth, generosity and sense of humour brought joy and pleasure to any company he was in. I never heard a bad word said about him and I rarely heard him say a bad word about another man. Except the late Sid Perks but then not all of the characters in the Archers can be perfect-And of course his daily rants about the Royal Mail.

His warmth is characterised by the sense of security, protection and general well being that he emanated. His generosity in both spirit and deed, many of us in this congregation have experienced and benefited from. In spirit he was always prepared to spend time listening to a friend or helping with a problem. In deed he was inevitably the first and last man to buy a round at the bar. His natural humour, sense of fun and impish delight in the sheer joy of life should be an inspiration to us all. Those us who meet with him on a regular basis will affirm that he inevitably brightened our day.

The Sopranos, The Godfather Trilogy, Goodfellas and similar were Austin’s escape from reality, he loved gangster movies and admired the code of the New York Italian American families; a male led society with the values of discretion, dignity, respect, loyalty and mutual trust. He was unsure of some their business practises and unable to find an East Molesey family to become attached to. He thus contented him self with eating in a restaurant called the Palazzo getting his hair cut in a barbers called the Cosa Nostra and becoming a Freemason instead.

As a Mason, Austin had a truly phenomenal ability to learn great tracts of the convoluted rote we call our ritual. Not only was he excellent at learning and reciting it but he was one of the most skilled, teachers, mentors and guides to Masonic learning I have ever met. His quiet patience and dogged determination not only helped those of us less talented and able than him to learn the text, he was able to build up our self confidence and pride.

As Ciarán has mentioned Austin was a skilled public speaker. His relaxed style and warm Celtic tones when telling the shaggiest of shaggy dog stories made him sought after and admired as a speaker at our dinners and we all knew we were in safe hands if Austin was proposing a toast.

In closing, I am sure that you will all join me in saying that we are richer for having known him, poorer for having lost him but content that he is now at peace.

There is a challenge thrown down to all young Masons that we should live respected and die regretted. If ever a man lived up to and exceeded that expectation it is Tina’s dear departed husband, Ciarán’s father, and our friend and brother: Austin.

This warming soup is a big favourite in the house and with friends. I took about 4 litres of it to a dinner party for 6 as a starter and the guests got to third helpings by the time the soup was all gone. Like most soups, it’s incredibly simple to make. This recipe serves 4.

Ingredients

• 350g broccoli
• 400ml  vegetable stock
• 25g butter
• 1 onion, chopped
• 50g Stilton, crumbled, or to taste
• 100ml creme fraiche
• salt and freshly ground black pepper
• pinch freshly grated nutmeg

Method

• Chop the broccoli into chunks, florets and stalks.
• Steam the broccoli in a pan until tender.
• Whilst the broccoli is steaming, fry the onion in the butter for about a minute
• Shove the broccoli, stock, onion, Stilton into a blender and blend until lumpy
• Add the creme fraiche. Blend again until smooth
• Transfer the soup to a saucepan and simmer.
• Add nutmeg and pepper to taste

I was rushing through Hampton to visit my parents yesterday and saw this reminder to make haste slowly:

I think the poor cat (it looked like a Burmese) had just used up the last of its nine lives. The driver did her best. It must have been a real shock. She picked up the cat in a blanket and drove away, presumably to a vet.

Right now, the mainstream press supports the Conservatives, with the exception of the Guardian, Independent and Mirror. Alongside talk radio and TV, there’s much talk of the scandal of having an unelected Prime Minister in power. Even since Gordon Brown moved into Number 10 in 2007, this has been a common refrain.

It’s an even bigger issue now that Brown has offered to step aside. the argument runs something like this:

• Gordon Brown was unelected in 2007, which questions the legitimacy of this leadership.
• We’ve just had an election – Gordon Brown lost and should go in favour of David Cameron.
• Anything less than a Cameron government would be a coup.
• Gordon Brown has offered to stand down to allow a deal to happen: If there were a Labour/Liberal Democrat coalition, then it would be led by an unelected Prime Minister.

 To which the counterarguments are:

• That’s the system we’ve got – within the rules of the system, there’s no problem with his legitimacy.
• We’ve just had a parliamentary election. We’ve elected MPs to Parliament to form a government. This was not a presidential election. David Cameron hasn’t won a mandate either.
• Cameron does not have a mandate to govern on his own. He has 36% of the popular vote. He doesn’t have enough seats. Somebody has to make a deal and form a government within the rules of the system. The horse-trading going on is within the rules of our system.
• Unelected Prime Ministers are nothing new. There’s quite a history of them:
  • 2007 Gordon Brown Labour
  • 1990 John Major Conservative
  • 1976 James Callaghan Labour
  • 1963 Sir Alec Douglas-Home Conservative
  • 1957 Harold Macmillan Conservative
  • 1955 Sir Anthony Eden Conservative
  • 1940 Winston Churchill Conservative
  • 1937 Neville Chamberlain Conservative
  • 1923 Stanley Baldwin Conservative
  • 1916 David Lloyd George Liberal
  • 1908 Herbert H. Asquith Liberal
  • 1905 Henry Campbell-Bannerman Liberal
  • 1902 Arthur Balfour Conservative

Everyone is playing by the rules of the system. Personally speaking, I’m more than happy to see this happen because it now looks as though we’ll get electoral reform whatever happens. Perhaps sooner or later we’ll reform the system and it will be fairer.

29.6 million people voted in the General Election. That’s approximately 65% of the electorate.

Of those 29.6 million, 10.5 million voted for the Conservatives. That’s 35% of those who voted.

Under our First Past the Post system, which disproportionately awards seats for share of the vote, the Conservatives still do not have a majority of seats and therefore cannot immediately form a government.

This means that there is currently no alternative to the incumbent government. If Gordon Brown were to ask permission from the Queen to quit, she’d refuse: as yet, there is no alternative government.

So Brown is not “Squatting” in Downing Street as the squalid Murdoch Press alleges.

Under our system, there were no winners. It’s up to the parties now to take the mandates they have been given and represent them as best they can by arguing over the implementation of policy in a new government, making a deal and getting on with running the country. This process is now underway:

Clegg, true to his word, has offered the party with the most votes a first crack at forming a government. That party is the Conservative party. With a coalition, their combined votes would equate to about 58% of those 29 million and 363 seats.

However, if the talks finally fail, then under our current system, the Labour party has every right to try to form a government with the Liberal Democrats.

Of the 29.6 million who voted, 15 million voted for Labour or the Liberal Democrats. That’s 51% and 315 seats – still not enough to form a government, but possible still with assistance from other small parties.

If this situation were to arise, this new coalition would still be comprised of parties and MPs that people had voted for. Under our First Past the Post system, all parties are currently playing the game fairly.

The British people have had a chance to elect the Conservatives with a workable majority and have decided not to. We’ll have our next say in 4 to 5 years. That’s the system. If we don’t like it, we can change it.

The only party to have consistently offered this is the Liberal Democrats. The party to have most consistently opposed it is the Conservatives. It’s telling that once Brown offered to step aside yesterday afternoon, the Conservatives were more amenable to agreeing to a referendum on voting reform. They’re desperate for power and will make promises to get it.

Will they keep those promises?

As for this nonsensical whining about our “unelected Prime Minister”, that’s for another post.

If our newspapers were more indpendent and less in the pockets of the ruling interests, then this would be on the front pages today.

Early results indicate a hung parliament is in the offing and it’s going to be an interesting few days. This is probably the best result for you and me, regardless of your political opinion. This is because your political opinion may start to actually count for something, regardless of whether you’re a Conservative voter in a safe Labour seat, a Labour voter in a safe Conservative constituency or a Liberal Democrat voter in, well, anywhere! A hung parliament will throw open the haggling for a reform of the voting system, something the two biggest parties have fiercely resisted.

And it’s not hard to see why: looking at the figures from results as of this morning, it’s a pretty shocking state of affairs:

What’s wrong with this picture? How can it possibly be justifiable for 23% of the electorate to have their voices translated into just shy of 9% of the seats in Parliament? This isn’t about partisan politics. Regardless of your voting proclivities, people will only come back to voting and engagement with politics if they think their vote will actually make a difference.

Parliament may well be hung: there is hope for real change.

Cameron isn’t the real change candidate, but you can still make a difference today.

Sure, he’s talking a lot about change. Both the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats are banging the “Change” drum after 13 years of a Labour government that has made some terrible decisions (The wars, PFI, ID cards) and some very progressive ones (Minimum Wage, poverty reduction, great investment in public services, gay rights).

I feel, and perhaps many others feel the same, somewhat disconnected from the political process. You have a chance every 4 or 5 years (depending on the whim of the incumbent government) to cast a vote for another 4 or 5 years of management by ideologically very similar parties. “They’re all the same” is a common refrain. And yet, the truly radical parties such as the Greens (with whom I feel I have a lot of sympathy) and the BNP or UKIP (with whom I don’t!) are shut out completely.

People don’t feel connected because parliament does not represent them. Case in point, in 2005:

• Labour took 35 per cent of the vote and got 55 per cent of the seats
• The Conservatives won 32 per cent of the vote and only 30 per cent of the seats
• The Liberal Democrats took 22 per cent of the vote and only 10 per cent of the seats.

We need electoral reform and we need it badly. It’s unfair, it allows an abuse of power and it encourages voter apathy. How democratic is a democracy that votes in a near dictatorship every 4 or 5 years.

The only party of the three that offers a referendum on voting reform is the Liberal Democrats. However, because the system is currently so very wrong, you’re going to need to vote tactically. Simply voting Liberal Democrat might split the left wing vote (which has historically worked against the general British population’s interests) and bring in Cameron, who promises only to reform the electoral system to suit himself, not you. (Source)

Work towards a Hung Parliament. Vote for a Change. Find out how here: http://www.voteforachange.co.uk/